• 5 Things To Remember When You Have Your Second Child

    Posted on August 5, 2014 by Stephens Family Daycare in Busy Parents, Crib Notes, Parenting.

    About two weeks ago I gave birth to my second child – a hefty little baby boy. The contractions had started two days earlier and, after two false alarm trips to the hospital, my husband had no interest in taking me back to the hospital a third time. When I insisted that we had to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW, he got back into bed and told me he had to send a work email. Then he threatened that if we were going back to the hospital again, he was going to start his paternity leave regardless of whether I gave birth or not. Ohhh noo, say it ain’t so. To be honest, I had no idea I was actually in labor at the time, but I was desperate for something – anything! – to numb the pain. Anyway, it was a good thing we left home when we did because by the time I got to the hospital, I was halfway to push time. Two hours later I gave birth to my second child.

    It’s been an adjustment, to say the least, but it hasn’t sunk in that I am now a mother to two children, mostly because I don’t think I ever wrapped my head around the fact that I was a mother to one child. I feel too young to be a mom, yet too old to do 90% of the things I used to do (stay up past midnight, go to a concert, wear a mini skirt, etc.).

    We’ve all heard that welcoming a second child is a much different experience than welcoming your first in the sense that you are more “relaxed” (read: don’t have time or energy to worry), and you let things slide. What I didn’t expect was that despite having done all this a year and a half ago, there would be so many things I would forget about newborns – e.g., how often they need a feeding or a diaper change, how much laundry needs to be done, how little sleep I would get. In addition, there are a few things that come with the second child that I have to keep reminding myself, including:

    1) General facts such as my name, date of birth, home address.
    Mommy brain times two means that I am constantly repeating myself and forgetting basic information. It also means that I sometimes refer to my son as “she”.
    2) Eating is a necessity. And also a luxury.
    I used to mentally plan out what I was going to eat for each meal. Now I simply forget meals and have brunch, linner or a combo of the three I like to call “brelunner”.
    3) That I do, in fact, have a second child.
    It’s almost too easy to forget about your sleepy newborn when you have a spunky little toddler running around. Every now and then my baby will move and it makes me jump because I totally forgot he was lying right next to me.
    4) That I have not wronged my first child.
    I can’t help but feel that my toddler has been robbed of her precious alone time with Mommy, but then I realize that my newborn will never have that same alone time with me. Plus, it was pretty generous of me to give my daughter a sibling so she doesn’t grow up with only child syndrome. You’re welcome, first born.
    5) That I can do this.
    And even if I really feel I can’t figure out how to raise two children, do I have a choice?

    Second Child Elmo

    If I can’t do this, perhaps I can enlist Elmo for some help.

18 Responses so far.

  1. Michelle says:

    Congrats Noa!! I was always scared that I would leave my youngest behind also with two toddlers needing so much of my attention and him so quiet and newborn like. I still count my children in the car, when we get out of the car, etc. just to make sure I have them all.

    • Noa says:

      Thanks!! Ha, I hear you. Although I have to tell you, for someone who is so quiet and sleepy all day, my baby sure is grunty and loud at night. Can’t forget about him then 😉

  2. Congrats on baby #2! What a cutie 🙂 I agree that it’s hard in the beginning, and there’s some guilt about the loss of being always available to their older sibling. That was an adjustment for me. But my daughter likes her baby brother…most of the time!

    • Noa says:

      Thank you!! It’s good to hear that your daughter likes her baby brother most of the time. Right now my daughter isn’t too interested in her brother beyond saying “hi” and “bye”. But I will take that over disdain any day!

  3. melissajane01 says:

    Congratulations on your second child! It really is a different experience. I’m horrible about remembering to feed myself. Enjoy your two little ones.

  4. Congrats on Baby #2. such a beautiful baby

  5. Valerie says:

    Congratulations!! Haha, isn’t it true that you begin forgetting EVERYTHING, even things that used to be SO super easy to remember?! Why IS that? 😛

  6. Congratulations Noa. Your baby is so cute and looks like enjoying Emo’s book reading. It is fun to read about all this and now that I think of it, I probably will forget all dis stuff as well. Take care of yourself and enjoy this time wid your lovely child ☺

    • Noa says:

      Thank you! It is amazing how quickly we forget all of it. Elmo has a very calm and soothing voice 😉 so I think my baby enjoyed it as well.

  7. Sarah says:

    Congrats on your sweet little boy! I had my second (also a boy) in November of 2012 and it was a huge adjustment! You’re tips are SPOT ON. My biggest hurdle was reminding myself that I had not failed mor wronged my daughter, I had given her a gift! Now we are expecting our third and I’m having an easier time preparing for this sweet girl than I did with my son.

    • Noa says:

      Thank you!! I am trying to position the baby as a gift to my daughter but I think she is too young to understand any of it. I have heard the transition from one to two is super hard and that from two to three is much easier. Best of luck to you with your third child!

  8. Natasha says:

    Congrats on your new little one and new bigger family! We started with twins, so I feel ya! Hopefully will have baby #3 soon!

    • Noa says:

      Thank you!! Raising newborn twins has to be so difficult, hopefully now they are at an age where they can entertain each other. Good luck on baby number 3!!

  9. triciagoodman2 says:

    I’ll have to keep this in mind when we get around to having the second! I’m also planning on planting myself at the hospital at the first sign of labor this time. haha I had a story like yours and just made it in time to push!

    • Noa says:

      You definitely should plant yourself at the hospital! Doctors say labor the second time around takes half the amount of time it did with your first. I was nervous I might give birth in my car, hah.

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