It took my husband and me a little over a year to conceive our first child – we tried the old fashioned way for a little while, then jumped to fertility treatments, and suffered multiple losses before finally getting pregnant with our daughter. It was hell, and we decided that after our daughter arrived that we would throw caution to the wind and not use any form of birth control. Plus, women can’t get pregnant when they are nursing, right? Wrong. Surprise, surprise, 10 months after our daughter was born, I found out I was pregnant again.
As one might imagine, my reaction to finding out I was pregnant again less than a year after giving birth was slightly different from my reaction to finding out I was pregnant with my first child. And so, with just a few weeks left before my baby boy arrives, I have decided to depict all of my emotions and experiences leading to this major life event in an infographic. Why an infographic you ask? Well 1) they are all the rage these days (at work AND on Pinterest) and 2) I am half robot and not so good at sharing emotions, so I thought it best to display it all in charts and icons.
Emotions: First things first, I am lying about the level of excitement I feel about baby number two in the above infographic, but I don’t want my unborn child to see this picture someday and not understand the whole story. Of course I am excited, but a bit of it is tempered by the terror and lack of readiness I feel about taking care of two kids under two. It also doesn’t help that all my friends and my husband’s friends keep telling us how hard it is to raise two kids. But we aren’t trailblazers here, and I am not going to be raising Irish twins (or twins for that matter), so how hard can it really be? Please keep your answers to yourselves.
Nausea, Weight Gain: Both temporary, both not as bad the second time around. The nausea lasted longer this pregnancy but mostly because I have a toddler and therefore have no time to rest. Weight gain is looking to be 10 pounds less this pregnancy for the exact same reason. My self esteem is still down the drain though, and I can’t wait to have my body to myself…one year from now when I am done nursing.
Time: If I think I have no free or “me” time these days, good luck to future me. It makes me laugh to think of how overwhelmed I was when my daughter was first born – all she did was sleep and eat for the first six weeks! Now my waking hours will be spent chasing a toddler around and my “sleeping” hours will be spent taking care of an infant. I am exhausted just thinking about it. The good news is that our daughter will be in daycare during the week while I am on maternity leave, so most of the chasing will be done in short blocks of time.
Finances: Speaking of daycare, and since we are Cribsters – we have decided to put both of our kids in child care, which is no cheap undertaking. But who needs extra money anyways when you don’t plan on going on vacation for another 10 years?
And these are just the things I know to be worried about! It’s the unknowns that really terrify me. How will having a second child change my relationship with my husband? How will my daughter react to her new brother? What if my second child isn’t as calm as my first was as a baby? It’s just a matter of weeks, maybe even days, before my second child arrives and we don’t have a name, a room or just about anything physically prepared for his arrival because I have been too busy focusing on mental preparation (which, as you can see, has proven to be impossible). All I can do right now is pray for a healthy baby, because that is what really matters, and wait and see how the rest of the pieces fall into place. Wish me luck! And some sleep, please.