• Mentally Preparing for Two Children Under Two

    Posted on July 8, 2014 by Stephens Family Daycare in Crib Notes, Daycare.

    It took my husband and me a little over a year to conceive our first child – we tried the old fashioned way for a little while, then jumped to fertility treatments, and suffered multiple losses before finally getting pregnant with our daughter. It was hell, and we decided that after our daughter arrived that we would throw caution to the wind and not use any form of birth control. Plus, women can’t get pregnant when they are nursing, right? Wrong. Surprise, surprise, 10 months after our daughter was born, I found out I was pregnant again.

    As one might imagine, my reaction to finding out I was pregnant again less than a year after giving birth was slightly different from my reaction to finding out I was pregnant with my first child. And so, with just a few weeks left before my baby boy arrives, I have decided to depict all of my emotions and experiences leading to this major life event in an infographic. Why an infographic you ask? Well 1) they are all the rage these days (at work AND on Pinterest) and 2) I am half robot and not so good at sharing emotions, so I thought it best to display it all in charts and icons.

    Second Pregnancy

    Emotions: First things first, I am lying about the level of excitement I feel about baby number two in the above infographic, but I don’t want my unborn child to see this picture someday and not understand the whole story. Of course I am excited, but a bit of it is tempered by the terror and lack of readiness I feel about taking care of two kids under two. It also doesn’t help that all my friends and my husband’s friends keep telling us how hard it is to raise two kids. But we aren’t trailblazers here, and I am not going to be raising Irish twins (or twins for that matter), so how hard can it really be? Please keep your answers to yourselves.

    Nausea, Weight Gain: Both temporary, both not as bad the second time around. The nausea lasted longer this pregnancy but mostly because I have a toddler and therefore have no time to rest. Weight gain is looking to be 10 pounds less this pregnancy for the exact same reason. My self esteem is still down the drain though, and I can’t wait to have my body to myself…one year from now when I am done nursing.

    Time: If I think I have no free or “me” time these days, good luck to future me. It makes me laugh to think of how overwhelmed I was when my daughter was first born – all she did was sleep and eat for the first six weeks! Now my waking hours will be spent chasing a toddler around and my “sleeping” hours will be spent taking care of an infant. I am exhausted just thinking about it. The good news is that our daughter will be in daycare during the week while I am on maternity leave, so most of the chasing will be done in short blocks of time.

    Finances: Speaking of daycare, and since we are Cribsters – we have decided to put both of our kids in child care, which is no cheap undertaking. But who needs extra money anyways when you don’t plan on going on vacation for another 10 years?

    two children under two

    My daughter has no idea what’s coming.

    And these are just the things I know to be worried about! It’s the unknowns that really terrify me. How will having a second child change my relationship with my husband? How will my daughter react to her new brother? What if my second child isn’t as calm as my first was as a baby? It’s just a matter of weeks, maybe even days, before my second child arrives and we don’t have a name, a room or just about anything physically prepared for his arrival because I have been too busy focusing on mental preparation (which, as you can see, has proven to be impossible). All I can do right now is pray for a healthy baby, because that is what really matters, and wait and see how the rest of the pieces fall into place. Wish me luck! And some sleep, please.

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22 Responses so far.

  1. debbie says:

    Wow! I have a 2 yr old and a newborn and its definitelt difficult at times – there are days when I just want to cry, and days when it all goes perfectly. Motherhood is a journey for sure, but an awesomely rewarding one!! 🙂 Keep yourself rested and you’ll be great!

    • Noa says:

      Totally agree! Yes this time around I will definitely be sleeping when the baby sleeps! With my first I was so concerned with laundry, cleaning, etc. but I think with two young ones you kind of just have to let it go.

  2. Elayna says:

    I became pregnant with Elyssa when Elisha was 3 MONTHS OLD! They are 1 year and 7 days apart. It was a beautiful time. I nursed through the pregnancy and nursed both for 3 months simultaneously. Then their father walked out on us when they were 1 and two. It was the hardest time of my life, but had I not had Elyssa, it would have been so much harder. They are best friends and I wouldn’t change it for the world!

    • Noa says:

      Oh my gosh you brave woman! And strong. That must have been incredibly tough, I am so impressed. It’s great to hear that your children are best friends and that you wouldn’t change a thing, thank you!

  3. Michelle says:

    I totally remember wondering HOW I was ever going to manage when I was pregnant for the second time. The easy part was when the baby first came and I was on maternity leave. I still had care for my twins during the day and could rest when the baby did. Going back to work is what terrified me the most. It all works out and it gets so much easier once the little one stops nursing, and then you miss having a nursing little one:)

    • Noa says:

      Thank you for easing my mind 🙂 Do you really miss having a little one nursing? Maybe it’s cause I am only getting a 6 month break here but I am so not ready to nurse for another year! Yeah it really helps to have child care already lined up so you can focus on one child (or set of twins, go you!) at a time.

  4. Holli says:

    Congratulations on your second little one! I feel like I’ve got my hands full enough with my three year old I can only imagine my anxiety level adding another one in the mix! 🙂

  5. Mystarlight says:

    You will soon see things fall into place. My girls are 3 years apart. I find it a little hard this way because they are not into the same things most of the time because of the age difference. In my parenting just when I think I got everything figured out my girls change and I have to rearrange. That is kinda the fun part though.

    • Noa says:

      Yeah I am hopeful, it will take some time to make a routine but you are 100% correct, as soon as you get comfortable, things change! Makes life very interesting.

  6. Crystal says:

    I’m wishing you lots of luck! You will find your routine. I am 5 years apart from my sister, and sometimes I think that gets in the way of our friendship.

    • Noa says:

      Thank you, I need it!! I guess there is no “perfect” age difference, no matter what. All we can do is try our best 🙂

  7. Janelle says:

    congrats on your second baby! i only have one so i can’t imagine what you are going through. but here is to a speedy delivery!

  8. Tesha says:

    Our two little ones are one year and five days apart… so I totally understand. They are 6 and 7 now, but I love that they play together and protect each other. Its a beautiful thing.

    • Noa says:

      I love to hear stories like this, it makes me so optimistic, thank you for sharing. A year apart must have been tough on you but it sounds like it worked out great.

  9. Melissa says:

    My kids are 4 yrs & just over 2 yrs apart. Luckily, once you have one you are pretty much set for #2 (& #3 if you’re like me). It’s amazing how easy you can survive on virtually no sleep again.

    • Noa says:

      I don’t think I could survive 3, go you!! Hahah, who needs sleep when you have babies 🙂 Sleep is for teenagers.

  10. Kung says:

    Our kids are 4 years apart. i am not sure i would be able to handle 2 kids under 2

    • Noa says:

      My brother and I are 4 years apart, I think my parents knew what they were doing 🙂 Me, on the other hand, not so much.

  11. Sharon says:

    My mom had me and my brother 13 months apart and my aunt did the same thing with my two cousins…a girl then 13 months later, a boy. They both told me that although they slept walked a lot through life, nursing the babies helped all the weight come off and all they could do is live day to day. By the time my cousins, brother and I were all in our teens, they both loved that their kids were so close in age. Take care…imagine if it were triplets! LOL

    • Noa says:

      Hahah yes! Well that is good to hear – I have heard a lot of people saying that it’s really hard at first but then much easier once they grow up (and usually they are pretty good friends once all that sibling rivalry wears away). Fingers crossed!

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