In honor of Father’s Day this Sunday, I have asked my Babies’ Daddy, Andy, to answer some candid questions about fatherhood. My husband is not the touchy-feeliest man, and it occurred to me that while we constantly discuss my feelings (I have so many!), we rarely discuss Andy’s feelings about being a father (or in general). According to Andy, fatherhood is mostly about living vicariously through your kids, forcing them to like your favorite sports teams, foregoing sleep, and loving them like crazy. This post is for all the fathers out there – we so appreciate all that you do! From all of us at Cribsters, have a wonderful, sleep-filled, happy Father’s Day!!!
Hello, Andy. Welcome to Cribsters’ blog. I’m going to ask you some questions about fatherhood today, and I’d like you to be as honest with me as you can.
1. How did you feel when you found out I was pregnant with our first?
Um, excited, nervous, scared, and hungry. Mostly hungry. You told me right before we sat down to dinner.
2. Nice. When did you start feeling connected to our baby?
Probably the first sonogram where I could tell it was a baby. I think that wasn’t until the last sonogram, because like the first six months of sonograms I never knew what I was looking at.
3. What were you thinking when you watched our first child be born?
Honestly? Holy shit. You see your entire rest of your life literally right in front of you. You know life will never be the same and it is radically different than it was even when you woke up that morning.
4. How about the second?
The second child you’re used to being a father, so the thoughts are more about how is this going to impact the first child. I’d like to state for the record that I love my children the same.
5. What’s your favorite part about being a dad?
Being able to live vicariously through my kids. One of them will be a professional baseball player and the other will be a professional golfer (rock star, astronaut or theoretical physicist would also be acceptable choices). But spending time and playing with the two most interesting little men in the world (at least in my humble opinion) isn’t bad either.
6. What is the funniest thing about being a dad?
When my kids do something that completely reminds me of me, especially when they refuse to admit that my wife is right. It’s actually a pretty good way to measure how ridiculous my own behavior can be when I see my three-year-old doing the same thing.
7. Good answer. What is the biggest thing that has changed in your life since you had kids?
Something about sleep? I’m too tired to remember.
8. What lessons do you want to impart on your kids?
Be kind, honest, giving and humble. Also, find something you love and make it your own – life’s too short to be unsatisfied. And always remember the best chips are the crumbs at the bottom of the bag. The last one is key to success in life. Think about it.
9. What are the biggest things from your childhood that you would want to share with your own children?
The St. Louis Cardinals is the first thing. But the feeling that their parents love them more than anything else in the world would be a close second.
10. What is the hardest part about fatherhood?
Lack of sleep aside, I’d say the negotiating. I’m a lawyer and I negotiate more in my house than I do at my job. Bed time, snacks, play time, teeth brushing, bath time, book time, and TV time with a one and three year old all involve intricate negotiations. Kids don’t respond to incentives the same way adults do – they just keep asking for more. Negotiating with my children is, I imagine, a bit like dealing with North Korea.
11. How many children do you want?
This question is nothing but trouble. I plead the fifth.
12. How did you decide on names for your kids?
We eliminated every name in the book other than the two we chose. So if we do end up having a third, that kid is totally screwed.
13. Who is the boss in your house?
In our family of four, I think there are three possible answers. I can only tell you for sure I’m most definitely not the boss.
14. If you had more free time you would…
I would write a screenplay, start a new business, play much more golf, learn to play the piano and do all of the other stuff I obviously would have gotten around to at some point if my kids didn’t take up so much of my time. I swear I was just about to get to all of these things before I had kids.