The timing of your baby’s milestones is a silent competition amongst parents, or maybe not so silent depending on who you ask and how often you check Facebook. I am competitive by nature but I try to not to get too hung up on who did what and when, mostly because my baby’s next milestone is crawling and I really don’t have the energy to deal with that. Every now and then though, I see someone post a picture of their baby’s first something on Facebook, scroll through their timeline to figure out when their baby was born and compare it to when April first did the same thing. It’s psychotic, I know, but I never claimed to be sane.
So, for anyone interested in entering their baby into the 2013 Baby Milestone Olympics, here are the milestone events my little girl will be competing in:
Synchronized Social Smiling – I have to specify the “social” aspect because someone once told me that the fleeting smiles on my then two-week-old baby’s face were gas. Which makes total sense to me because April loves to fart. April’s first real smile was probably somewhere around six weeks. It felt like appreciation for all my hard work and lack of sleep, and it was amazing.
The 12-Hour Sleeptathlon – My baby slept from 10pm to 7am one time during her six week growth spurt. I was so excited I couldn’t sleep, which was a total waste considering it didn’t happen again until after we did sleep training six weeks later. Nowadays she’s beating her previous sleep record time with a nice, solid 12 hours of sleep each night.
The 1 Meter Roll Over – One night, when April was around 12 weeks, I heard her fussing in her crib and looked at the video monitor to see that she had rolled over onto her stomach. I believe my response to this milestone event was, “Oh shizzzzzz”. I was panicked at the thought of her sleeping on her stomach and wanted to velcro her to her crib on her back. This could be another million dollar baby business idea now that I think about it.
Freestyle Laughing – April may have first laughed when she was about three months old but it sounded like she was choking and about to cry at the same time, so I had no idea what was happening. Somewhere between four and five months she started laughing regularly. Now her laughs sound like rainbows and sparkles and windchimes.
The Unassisted Sit– April honed her sitting skills at daycare and was able to sit on her own at about 6.5 months. She comes from a long line of people who love to sit, on the couch, in a chair, on the floor. We expect April to perform spectacularly in this competition. Look at her sitting AND smiling!
Tooth Cutting – My baby just cut her first tooth last week at seven months old, which reminds me that I am supposed to be brushing that little monster. How silly.
These days my little baby girl is doing a military-style crawl and saying things like “a-dah”. It’s just a matter of time before she stands, walks, curses at me and rides off on a motorcycle with her boyfriend. At which point I will promptly yell out “you once pooped on me!” so loud that her boyfriend and anyone within 10 miles can hear me. Boom!
So tell me people, where will your baby be placing in the 2013 Baby Milestone Olympics?